A Series of Events
by WitchFire Hazel
Summary: A series of drabbles in which a different chapter describes a certain event for each character. Disclaimer: Okay obviously I don't own Firefly or it's characters!
1. Back to Normal

**Zoë**

"Cap'n? Can I have a word?" Zoë asked simply. The captain had his head so far down in the engine that you couldn't see him from the shoulders up. Kaylee was somewhere in there as well, nothing but her feet sticking out the bottom; they were having a heated discussion on the state of the compression coil. "Sir?"

"Mite busy at the moment Zoë." Mal said without taking his head from inside the engine's carapace. "As you can see Serenity ain't feelin' too good and needs attention."

"And I told you what her problem is Cap'n!" Kaylee said, her voice muffled by the bulk of the engine. "She needs more than spit and tape now. That coil could go at any second. We need a new one!"

"Well we ain't got no new one." Mal said, finally pulling his head away from the hodgepodge of wires and metal. "Fix her up as best you can. When we make port you might be able to get a new one." At Kaylee's gleeful squeal he held up his hands even though she couldn't see them, "I said: Might!"

"Sir?"

"What do ya need Zoë?" He asked as he faced her, dusting off his hands as he did so. He took in the look on her face and froze for a second. Since The signals release Zoë had been more distant, but the look on her face was something akin to the grief she had kept hidden, as if something had caused the hard shell of hers to crack. He wondered if someone had said something about Wash. "Come on up to the bridge with me. I gotta check and see if Badger's contacted yet."

She followed him in the silence of the trained soldier he knew her to be, but there was something off about it, an uncharacteristic shift about her gait. When they stepped on the bridge, River stood and, smiling broadly at Zoë, departed on dancers feet. Mal plopped down and swiveled the pilot's chair so that it was facing his First Mate.

"So what'd ya need to talk bout?"

She stood there rooted to the spot before sighing heavily and walking over to the copilot's chair. She sat down heavily and stared off into the black. They sat there for about five minutes before she found her voice again.

"You asked me once why I married Wash." She began, and Mal started to tell her she didn't have to talk bout it when she cut him off. "No, I have to get this out. I never gave you an answer. At that time I don't think I knew my own self." She paused again, still staring out into the black. Then she swiveled to face him and he saw the raw emotions play across her face; Grief, hate, anger, regret. They were all there, but so was love and a kindling of hope. "It took me loosing him to finally figure it out.

"I married him because he made me feel alive again. He brought laughter back into my life. Made me love again" A tear slowly slid down her face and Mal started. Never in all their years of friendship had he seen her shed a single tear; it scared him more than the whole hoard of reavers did. "Now that he's gone, I can't feel any of those things anymore. He took all those things with him. Some days I can't help but hate him for leaving me."

"You know he ain't left ya yet Zoë." Mal said leaning against the console, not knowing a way to comfort his friend.

"No, I know. What did River say the other day? A spark?" Zoë said, smiling now, beaming in a way Mal had never seen her do. He began to realize where this was going and sat back, no longer worried his First Mate was gonna off herself. "'A spark in the black.' That's what she said."

"So when does the newest Washburne get here?" Mal asked, a grin on his face.

Zoë laid her hands over her still flat stomach and knew that if her Mister was here, he'd be grinning from ear to ear, trying to pick out Dino names for the baby that wasn't even there yet. "Seven months."

Just then River skipped in holding a piece a paper gingerly in her hands. She quickly handed it to Zoë and skipped back out, not giving either of them a chance to say anything. Zoë flipped the paper over and saw herself and Wash sitting at the table, the others, including the Shepherd, standing behind them. Between the couple was a small bundle with wispy red hair and caramel colored skin dotted with freckles. She clutched the paper to her chest and wept, letting go of everything that she had held in for the last month.

The Captain felt now would be a good time to escape so he ducked outta the bridge, feeling that finally things were beginning to get back to normal... And then Jayne's voice floated in from somewhere down below, followed by the eery giggle of River's.

"Gorramit crazy girl! I done told you I ain't a ruttin' girl now back off it before I have ta show ya!"

_Yep_. Mal thought, opening the hatch to his bunk. _Everything's back to normal_.


	2. A Gift of Recompense

**Jayne:**

"Gorram moonbrained 'feng le' girl." Jayne muttered as he stomped through the empty kitchen. Of all the Hair-brained things he was forced ta do, this was one of the worst. He jabbed the combination to unlock his bunk into the keypad and shoved the hatch open, grumbling as he climbed down the ladder. As soon as his feet hit floor he slammed the hatch closed again and punched the combination to lock it.

He kicked off his boots, sending one of them flying into his dirty clothes pile, and unhooked his weapons belt. As soon as he was free of it he turned toward his bed and ripped off the cover that concealed his weapons. He plopped down on the hard surface of his bed and grabbed the nearest gun.

He then stripped it to it's bare parts and began to clean each of them. Normally he'd be at the table doin' this, so that he didn't lose any of the small bits, but ever since Moony had gotten ahold of one a his guns he was forced to do it down in his bunk. "Sure the Cap'n still gets ta clean all a his weapons at the table, the 'Ching-wah TSAO duh liou mahng'!"

"You know, talking to yourself is the first clear indicator that you are going crazy."

Jayne cussed and nearly dropped the part he was cleaning and looked up to see the girl who caused all this. How she got that ruttin' hatch open was beyond him, but there she was, sittin' on one of the rungs with her arms wrapped around the ladder to keep her steady. Jayne noticed that she was holding a bundle of something between her hands, but didn't much care to find out what it was.

"Beat it Moony. Last thing I need is for you ta get ahold of another one of my guns." He said, spittin into the rag he was holdin'. He heard her a shufflin' around so he assumed she had- for once- listened and left. He went to grab another part was stopped when River grabbed his arm. He jerked it out a her grasp and looked up at her, wondering what in the hell she was up to.

"Society dictates that I present you with a token that states I acknowledge the immorality of my past actions." She said, looking down at the parts strewn about his bed.

"Shén me shì dìyù, nǐ gāng cái shuō?" Jayne said, a blank look on his face.

River giggled and placed the bundle in her hands in front of Jayne. She smoothed it out revealing the Blue Sun shirt he had been wearing when she had cut him. He looked from it to her, not sure how or why she had gotten it. "This is a present to show that I am sorry for my actions."

"But why the hell are ya giving it ta me?" He asked "I sure as hell don't want it back!"

"She needs him to understand why she chose that course of action." River said, sitting on the bed opposite the shirt and him.

"Ya did it cause you're a 'feng le' girl who can't tell the difference between a gun and... something that ain't a gun." He said, grasping for, and failing to find, the right words.

"She was afraid Jayne." River said, a rushed, almost hysterical note to her voice. She laid a finger on the torn and bloody shirt, pointing to the only spot where the logo still shown through. "It's the Blue. They use the image to gain access. Needed to get rid of it, cover it so they could not see."

Wait so you're sayin' ya cut me open to cover up this logo." Jayne said, his temper rising again. "How the hell is that a ruttin' apology!"

"No! They can see! If you don't cover it up they can see!" River said, becoming hysterical. Have to hide the Blue!"

"So you're cuttin' me was some sort a protection?" She sighed, glad he was finally starting to understand. Despite himself, he began to understand some of the things she had done back then. "So when ya decided to go all crazy over the canned goods ya was just tryin ta-?"

"Trying to hide the Blue." She said, standing back up. Absentmindedly she began to put the parts on his bed back together. In half the time it normally took him, she had put all the pieces back together and held up the gun with a smile on her face, clearly pleased with herself. Jayne just grumbled and snatched it from her hands 'fore she decided she wanted to keep it. She just giggled that creepy giggle and danced toward the hatch.

"This don't change anything Moony." Jayne said, sweeping the shirt off the bed, "You're still a basket case who cut me."

"I know." River said climbing outta his bunk. He heard the hatch close and the locks reengage. He wasn't sure what just happened.

He looked at the shirt in his hand, then scoffed and threw it with the rest of his dirty clothes. He shook off the creepy feeling the girl always gave him and grabbed the next gun in line, stripping it like he did the last.

"Gorram 'feng le' girl." He muttered, scrubbing a spot off the barrel of the gun. "Think she can waltz in here and apologize. Prolly thinks I'll be nice to her now." He grunted and threw down the rag, not able to concentrate on his guns. He pieced it back together and replaced it on the wall, before layin' down. Gorram girl had his mind a turnin' and he hated it when it got that way.

He finally fell asleep, mumbling about "crazy girls and their stupid apologies."


	3. It's Never Goodbye

**Kaylee:**

Kaylee stood in the engine room, staring at the heart of Serenity, so still and quiet. This- this room; this ship- was her home and her life. The hum of the engine had always been music to her, telling her all was well. Now she stood silent; no music, meaning no life.

She turned slowly looking at all the things she had accumulated. All of it meant so much to her. She felt the tears slide down her face and she sat heavily on the step, burying her face in her arms. She still remembered walking toward Serenity, after telling her folks she had just got a job.

...

She stopped at the top of the hill and stared at the ship that was now her home. She still couldn't believe it! She was actually going to be going into space. The ship sat below her, the evening sun beating down, causing it to glow orange. From this angle she couldn't make out the name of it, but that didn't matter, Captain Reynolds would tell soon enough. She hefted her bag higher up her shoulder and began her descent, so giddy she was almost bouncing.

The Captain saw her skip into the cargo bay and stepped toward her, already sure he made the right choice. The girl had changed outta her dress and into a greasy, torn up jumpsuit. She had apparently sewn a little heart on the front and a teddy bear on one of the legs. She had on the same ridiculous smile gave him earlier that same day.

"Boy, am I glad you didn't leave! That bag sure is heavy." Kaylee said, letting her bag drop from her shoulder. It made a pretty loud thunk when it hit, telling Mal it prolly did weigh a lot. "My mama thought I had to take every small thing she ever gave me. I swear that thing is heavier than me."

"Well that's folks for ya." Mal said, "So this here's the cargo bay obviously, come with me and I'll show ya the rest of Serenity."

"Serenity? Is that her name?" Kaylee asked, lugging the heavy bag back on her shoulder. Mal saw her struggle with the thing and then moved to take it from her.

"Here, let me take that from you. And yes, ship's name is Serenity." He said, throwing the bag over his own shoulder. Sure enough the thing weighed a Gorram ton, and poked him in several places, telling him she had packed more than clothes. He led her passed the infirmary and passenger dorms, and ascended the stairs to the engine room. "Obviously this is the engine room."

"Yeah. I already been here." She said, blushing deeply. She stepped toward the engine and ran her hand lovingly over the case, feeling the hum of the engine beneath. The captain cleared his throat after a few moments and she jumped, turning to follow him up the hallway.

"And this here's the kitchen. Not much to it right now except the table and stove. We dont have much variety when it comes to food. its mostly protein, rice and tea, but you're welcome to anything there is." Mal said stopping so she could look around, and he saw her gaze linger on the niche next to the stoves. "We're hoping to get a couple couches to put over there for a little sittin' area."

"That's nice." Kaylee said, looking around again before following the captain up another corridor, this one lined with hatches. He walked to the last one on the right and pushed the hatch open, revealing a ladder. He motioned for her to descend and she did, climbing down into a small, empty bunk. It was devoid of everything, not even a bed was in the space. She hear. Rustling above her and moved aside so the captain could join her.

"It's not much." Mal said, placing her bag by the ladder. He stepped around her and walked to the middle of the left hand wall. He ran his hand over the was for a few seconds before he found the handle, then pulled, releasing the bed from the wall. She gasped softly in delight and turned around, wondering what else was hidden in the walls. She noticed two small indents on the opposite wall and pulled on them, releasing a toilet and sink. "Told you it's not much."

"It's wonderful!" She said, giggling.

"Well, I'll let ya get settled here." Mal said, making his way to the ladder. "When you're good and settled, come on down to the kitchen to meet the others. Supper'll be in a couple hours."

"Thank you captain, for this wonderful opportunity." Kaylee said, holding her hand out to him, "My name's Kaylee by the way, Kaylee Fry."

"Malcolm Reynolds, but you can call me Mal."

"Sure thing Cap'n." she was beaming even after he left, not quite used to the fact that she was actually on this ship. She quickly unpacked (she had found a pull out dresser opposite her bed) then headed to the kitchen, eager to meet the rest.

...

"Kaylee?" Simon called from somewhere close, pulling her out of her memory. She quickly wiped her eyes, not wanting him to see her like this. "Kaylee? Bao bei where are you?"

"In here." She called, her voice a bit too wobbly. "I'm in here Simon."

"Kaylee? What's wrong?" He said as he walked into the room. He took one look at her face and pulled her into his arms, holding her tight as she cried. "I know bao bei, it's hard on all of us."

"I can't d-do it S-S-Simon." She said in between sobs, burying her face in his chest. "Ser-Serenity's our h-home!"

"I know, Kaylee but we don't have much choice do we?" He said lifting her chin so she had to look at him. He wiped the tears from her face and leaned in to kiss her. He wished he knew how to make her smile. She had been too miserable lately, crying at night and having nightmares. He hated seeing her like this. "Come on hon, everyone's waiting in the kitchen."

The kitchen. She had forgotten. She grabbed his hand and they walked down the corridor side by side. When they stepped through the doorway, eight pairs of eyes fell on them. Then two little boys jumped off the couches and ran at them, jumping in the air at the last second. Simon and Kaylee caught them just before they all collided, pulling them up in a hug. Phin and Ian both giggled as their mom and dad hugged them tight.

'Thank god for children.' Simon thought as he carried his son to the table. Kaylee followed closely behind, gripping Ian as if he would disappear. After they sat, everyone else converged on the table. Mal sat at one end, Inara and her bulging belly sat on his right, next to River and Jayne, who were fighting over which Callahan model was superior. Kaylee and Simon sat on his left with Cassandra, Zoë and Wash's eleven year old daughter, next to them. At the other end of the table was Zoë, looking as stern as she ever had, except the small smile that kept playing on her face every time one of the twins shrieked or giggled.

Tonight was their last meal. The last one on the ship. In the last year jobs became nigh impossible to find and those they did find didn't pay near enough. In the last few months Mal had been playing with the notion of grounding her for a few months, maybe a year until he could get enough money to get her airborne again. And then something on the ship quit. Fixin' it would cost more money then they had, so Mal had no choice but to put her to ground.

Now they were all spending their last night aboard Serenity. In the morning they would all be going their separate ways. Kaylee looked around at the people she called family, wanting this night to go on forever. They sat in silence for a while, the twins trying to hit each other, just staring at the table, too sad to speak.

"It's not over you know." River said, finally breaking the silence. "It can never be over. Just because we leave doesn't mean she will leave us. It wont be goodbye as long as we let her in."

They all looked at her, too stunned to say anything. Jayne then grabbed ahold of his glass and hoisted it into the air, "To Serenity."

They all copied his actions and the twins did likewise, lifting their fists (since they didn't have cups) and yelled at the top of their lungs, "To Sewenity!"

That seemed to break the tension and everyone laughed. They spent the rest of the night telling stories of their time aboard the ship.

'No.' Kaylee thought as she carried a sleeping Ian off to his bed. 'Its never Goodbye. Not as long as I remember."


	4. Dancing Lonely

**The lyrics are to the song The Lonely by Christina Perri and the poem is The Daffodils by William Wordsworth. I do not own either of these works, I simply felt they characterized a certain aspect of River.**

**River:**

_I'm a ghost of the girl that I want to be most.  
I'm the shell of a girl that I used to know well._

A ghost. That's what she was. An aberration that should not be there. Yet here she was, a girl that was not a girl but a weapon. A thing to be used. No. She was a girl. The girl. River. That's not who she is, but who she wishes to be; who she used to be.

River sat alone in the crash lounge, her knees against her chest and her arms around her legs. She kept rocking softly, muttering softly to herself. The others were sitting around the table, talking about the success of their latest job. She didn't participate, nor did she wish to. The success or failure of their jobs didn't mean anything to her as she floated in and out of awareness.

She came back to herself with a start when she felt someone touched her arm. She knew it was Simon; she felt his thoughts, heard his emotions. He was speaking to her, but she didn't hear him. She knew what he wanted. Wanted to give her drugs to help her sleep. She didn't want them, but couldn't find a way to tell him that they didn't stop the nightmares. They only trapped her in them, like a pile of blankets smothering her.

So she stood and followed her jailer as he led her to her cell. As soon as he administered the tainted poison he left, closing the door with a soft tap. Instantly things became foggy, and she felt herself slipping, falling into the world where monsters waited.

She awoke screaming. She huddled in the middle of her bed, rocking back and forth, crying so much she felt that she would become her namesake, a river of tears to carry her away into the black.

When the tears subsided she grew restless, like an ocean in the storm. She left her room and peeked into Simon's, wondering why he hadn't checked up on her. She found her answer as soon as she peered inside. Simon was gone. Then she felt it. It felt like a tidal wave, but instead of trying to wash her away, it was pulling her closer, urging her to follow it. And she did. She allowed it to pull her from the passenger dorms and up the stairs. As soon as she was in the rear corridor she was able to discern where the waves originated. They were coming from the engine room. She moved to step closer when she realized what those waves were and she blushed, moving quickly into the kitchen to escape their pull, effectively scaring Jayne into brandishing one of his weapons.

"What in Sam hell are you doin' skulkin' round the ship at this hour?" He said as he began to hurriedly gather up his weapons.

"_'I wandered lonely as a cloud. That floats on high o'er vales and hills_,'" she stated dreamily, walking passed him, heading for the front corridor. Jayne followed her, not trusting her that close to the bridge or the rest of his weapons, but she simply heading back downstairs. He muttered something about moonbrains and went back to the table to hurriedly clean his guns.

_Dancing slowly in an empty room.  
Can the lonely take the place of you?  
I sing myself a quiet lullaby,  
And let you go and let the lonely in,  
To take my heart again_

She twirled once, testing the motion, then repeated the movement, and again, forgetting who she was, as she danced her way to the bottom. Moving slowly around the room, simply forgetting. Letting the walls become her body, the space her mind. When she finished she sank to the floor, slowly becoming herself once again.

It was then that she felt eyes on her. She didn't look up, she didn't need to. The eyes that bore into her back with the chill of ice and the iron of willpower could belong to only one person. "The Captain wishes to know what the girl is doing?"

"No, the Captain saw what you were doing." He said, descending from the catwalk above. He looked upon the hunched girl, not sure what to make of her. "I was wondering why you were doing it at three in the morning in the middle of my cargo bay."

"Monsters in my sleep. Did not wish to return to them." She said, standing in one fluid motion.

"I can understand that." He said, hooking his thumbs around his belt. "Care to elaborate why ya was swishin' around the cargo bay like you was at some fancy party?"

"It's quiet." She said in a small voice, a smile playing on her lips. "It's lonely in the black of night."

"Okay. Lets slide right passed the part where that's something to be smiling about. You just be careful little witch. Even mind-reading geniuses can get dead from a fall." He said, giving her one of his rare, genuine smiles. She smiled back and twirled away from him, dancing around the cargo bay once again. Mal just shook his head and climbed back up the catwalk, heading towards his bunk.

River just danced, letting her body become the walls and her mind the empty space in between. And for a while she she was able to forget herself.


End file.
